Miriam Lord, Queen Bee of parliamentary sketch writing, on Portraitgate/Cowengate in today’s Irish Times.

The Taoiseach’s mobile phone rings twice while he is on his feet during Leaders’ Question. He doesn’t take the call.

It’s probably from one of the knicker-twisters, getting in touch to tell Brian that the Garda Emergency Response Unit can be mobilised to track down the man who painted two unflattering portraits of the Taoiseach and then hung one in the National Gallery when nobody was looking.

“Shockin’, boss, shockin’. No respect for the dignity of your office. Leave it to us. We’ll lay into the media on your behalf, secure a grovelling apology from RTÉ on the nine o’clock news, berate any broadcasters who dare to mention the incident, send the rozzers into Today FM and insist they reveal the computer record of their discussions with the perpetrator.

“That’ll put a stop to the matter, boss. We’re not thick as two short planks for nothing.�?

It had to be them, ringing on his mobile. Who else would call up the Taoiseach during Leaders’ Questions? And still we mused, watching Cowen and wondering what it was about him yesterday that was so different.

Go read the entire column – it may make you laugh in case you’ve been too angry…